i still believe
since april 10 when Dennis passed on, i have been unsure about how honest, how vulnerable to be in my blogging. as a christian, i know i must be careful about the words i speak--i have a responsibility to build you up. but, if you've ever lost someone you love, someone with whom you've truly become one, you must know that there is immense pain involved in that separation. i have had days when i wasn't so sure i was going to make it; and yet, i knew that God, in His mercy and grace, would not let me be destroyed.
losing a loved one is something we get through, but we never get over. i believe that we were created to live forever, and that only because of the fallen nature of this world, do we have to experience death and separation. God never intended it to be this way, and that is why it hurts so much. our lives will never be the same without Dennis. he made such a difference in my life, and in the lives of all with whom he got involved. he was unique...he was Dennis.
so, to some degree, i'm back. i won't promise i'll feel like blogging tomorrow or the next day, but today, i'm here:)
losing a loved one is something we get through, but we never get over. i believe that we were created to live forever, and that only because of the fallen nature of this world, do we have to experience death and separation. God never intended it to be this way, and that is why it hurts so much. our lives will never be the same without Dennis. he made such a difference in my life, and in the lives of all with whom he got involved. he was unique...he was Dennis.
so, to some degree, i'm back. i won't promise i'll feel like blogging tomorrow or the next day, but today, i'm here:)
Labels: dennis / grief
posted by lindajanek @ 3:00 PM
4 Comments:
At 11:49 PM,
yack said…
I miss Dennis too (and yes, Dennis was Dennis). Earlier today I watched and listened to part of the Grace Summit Anniversary Service (Nov. 21, 2004). As Dennis started to share, I just started crying at the loss. He always had such good things to share and was always encouraging. I feel sad for all the new people at Grace Summit who never got to know him. :'(
Earlier this evening, Melissa and I were telling a new couple from church about Dennis, and Dan, and blogging, and Dan sharing things from Dennis' sermons in his sermon... and how sometimes (quoting Dan quoting Dennis) the 'refuse truck of life pulls up to your door and releases the lever.' And so, I appreciate your title - "I still believe" - because, as Dan shared, that is what Christ asks of us. So, while I can't imagine the pain you bear, nor can I imagine the pain Christ bore for us, I just want to say, "Welcome Back - we're here for you." Press ON!
At 10:44 AM,
Molly D said…
Hi, Linda:
My brother is good friends with Dan and Suzanne and we've met them a couple times too so I read his blog regularly. Today I hopped over to yours from his (the blog world is funny, huh?). Just wanted to send you love as a sister in Jesus and tell you that I appreciated your honesty. Your faith still shines through the pain...what a testimony. You will be in my prayers.
Molly Detweiler
At 5:37 PM,
lindajanek said…
Thanks, Jeff and Molly, for your encouraging comments. I'm so thankful to have the Body of Christ!!
Molly--who's your brother?
At 1:15 PM,
Molly D said…
My brother is Joel Smith and he and his wife Wendy are pals with Dan and Suzanne. Joel leads one of the worship bands at Riverview too. Have you met him? :)
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